Friday, 13 February 2009

For Fuck's Sake

What a ridiculous hoo-ha the media are making about Boris Johnson's 'tirade' (the cliche of the moment for this story) to Keith Vaz. Apart from it being utterly justified - as would any tirade directed at the oleaginous, sycophantic little creep Vaz - surely, a sprinkling of swear words is fairly run-of-the-mill when things get heated in most bits of serious business? Or at least in what is taken for a private conversation. By the way, I gather newsrooms are some of the most prolific cursing arenas - but then hypocrisy is a stock in trade here.

Anyway, I think the majority of people really enjoy a good swear, either as participants or spectators. Testament to this is the popularity, not to say classic status, of certain TV programmes and films featuring particularly creative swearing.

My own favourites put Bozza's swearing to shame. His features only one four letter word, which isn't even clustered together to create an aesthetically pleasing and cathartic climax of alliterative repetition (sorry got a bit carried away with the lit crit there).

Off the top of my head here is what I think is the best film and best TV programme, swearing-wise:

Oscar for Best Swearing: Glengarry Glen Ross

Consistently interesting swearing throughout the film with some wonderfully satisfying peaks of intensely creative cussing. Started life as a play by top playwright David Mamet, proving that swearing can be big and clever. Here is some of the best dialogue.

Emmy for Best Swearing: The Thick of It

I believe the writers employed a swearing consultant, Ian Martin of a website called Martian FM. A great investment. The swearing ranges from the unexpected and baroque ("Don't start with the moral objections, you fucking Blue Peter badge wearing ponce! Go and make a contribution to the fucking Amnesty International! Go and buy a goat a whole village can fuck, but you are doing this for me!") to the elegantly simple "Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off". Swearing has never appeared so clever when delivered by Peter Capaldi playing spin doctor Malcolm Tucker.

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