Gadjo and Brit have been deconstructing chocolate discourse, interrogating it for deeper meanings. But what strikes me about your modern chocolate bar is actually how very few words are now used to sell the stuff.
Bars of confectionary, just like old-fashioned comedians, always used to have catchphrases. But, just as in the world of comedy, these no longer appear to be a necessary accompaniment.
This development is presumably informed by some terribly clever marketing insight. But it seems to me to represent something of a loss: all those little chocolate sub-brands must have just a little less purchase on the minds of the younger generation than they did on mine. Token of this is that I can immediately reel off a dozen or more chocolate bar strap-lines (is that what they're called?). Some of them have strong associations:
Crunchie: "That Friday feeling" [From a chocolate bar? Yeah, right.]
Fry's Turkish Delight: "Full of Eastern Promise" [i.e. "Get your scimitar, you've pulled", says dusky bint.]
Cadbury's Fudge: "A finger of fudge is just enough..." [No it's not.]
Flake: "Only the crumbliest, flakiest milk chocolate..." [This phrase still evokes the funny feeling I started getting when I began to notice the Flake advert at the age of about thirteen.]
Mars: "Helps you work, rest and play" [Wholesome, boring.]
Bounty: "A taste of paradise" [Semi-naked women on beach, not boring.]
And so on. As far as I know none of these are in use any more and the brands seem somehow stripped of personality as a consequence.
It may well have something to do with them no longer being advertised on TV (I assume this is the case but, ahem, I don't watch a lot of ITV). But why aren't they? Has the market changed in some significant way? Perhaps they're advertised elsewhere now. Online?
All very mysterious and, I feel, a minor but sad diminution in the gaiety of the nation.