Unbelievable. I came that close. You see I was at school with Nige, who's a nice bloke, though I did once hit his twin brother on the nose for chatting up my girlfriend of the time. I'd even bought a ticket under T's instructions - she'd been to Primrose Hill for a yoga class and fancied a house up there. I mean, how close can you get?
There's only one thing for it:
You may not remember me but I hit your brother on the nose when we were at school. I was wondering whether you might spare enough money for me to buy a house in a really nice part of London?