Thursday, 11 February 2010

Hair today, hair tomorrow

As longstanding readers will know, I take a passing interest in facial hair developments. So, when an errand took me down to fashionable Shoreditch, I was bound to enliven it with some casual pogonotrophic research.

Shoreditch is, you see, a living laboratory of hair styles. Indeed, it is internationally renowned. Most notably it was the roundabout birthplace of the Hoxton Fin, first sported by Shoreditch's eponymous Twat. This hairstyle swept the world, carried by style icons such as David Beckham (right).

So it is where you should go if you want to see the follicular future. And, friends, I've seen it first-hand - or, more properly, first-furry lip. Casually leaning against the wall of St Luke's churchyard was a young blood sporting a pair of Dali-like moustaches, waxed and curled into perfect part-circles (see below - it was closest to 'connoisseur' but even more extravagantly curled).

So what, you say? You may well have come across one of these on the phizog of a youngster having inadvertently stumbled one evening into some trendy urban hell-hole. Yes, I can well believe it. But I feel sure the personage wearing such carefully-teased lip-gear was kitted out in a similarly eccentric outfit: inspired by a WWI fighter pilot, for instance, or perhaps Dali's own cape-and-cane rigmarole.

However, the notable thing about my find was that the young fellow was otherwise ordinarily and casually dressed. Jeans, desert boots, unremarkable shirt, boring jacket: a sure sign that this formerly eccentric facial accoutrement has mainstreamed.

So calling all WAGs: you may soon find yourself hanging on the arm of a foppish, moustachioed dandy. Beware parents: your teenage male progeny will soon start looking like a spotty El Mystico. And marketers of hair products: start dusting down those long-retired pomades and nets.


malty said...

Oh dear God, no, no, not the return of Frank Zappa.
I await the invasion from the States of the 'blunted' barnet.

Gadjo Dilo said...

What is it actually that one has to apply to one's moustache to get it to stay in such a shape? Not that I want to myself, obviously, but, errr, a friend is interested.

Sean said...

Not a Problem as even at 44 I only have to shave once every ten days, but thanks for the warning.

Looking at my sons mobile (no stashes of Mayfair and Penthouse under the bed like my youth) Porn stars tend not to have facial or body hair these days, The modern era seems to be all about plastic.

Gaw said...

Malty: As ever, you're way ahead of us.

Gadjo: Of all places, I would expect Bucharest to be a promising location for the purchase of the necessary pomade or wax. Aren't Romanians famous exponents of the twiddly moustache?

Can't wait for the uploaded photo.

worm said...

oh dear oh dear, shoreditch twats. I know so many of them, to my shame. In fact I was the next door neighbour of the shoreditch twat before he officially became the twat, although, naturally, he was already a twat. (true)

I believe the person you witnessed to be what is nowadays referred to as a 'hipster'
Hipsters are apparently supposed to be 'edgy' and 'independant' but of course they slavishly follow a fashion to ensure they blend seamlessly into their peer group. They 'work' in something creative, wear clothes from American Apparel, like ironic moustaches and ride fixed gear bicycles.

They are also extremely punchable.

Gaw said...

Worm: I didn't know the Shoreditch Twat started off as a particular person. Tell more, please.

Yes, his clothes did have that American Apparel blandness. So that's trendy, then. Tricky, isn't it? How do keep up with it all?

Anonymous said...

i trust you said, aloud, "look at this fucking hipster". Germans are quite hip and favour facial hair so i often have occasion to utter these words:

i was just today contemplating the Beowulf 'stache of Nick Nolte's terrifying Irish cop in Q & A.

Anonymous said...

Just remembered i knew this funny chap once, he had quite a penchant for facial hair. The odd thing was that i think he thought it made him look kind of manly and decisive and striking but in fact i'm pretty sure everyone who saw it just thought, "what the fuck is that on his face?"

worm said...

Gaw: I used to live on Hoxton Square in the mid 90's - in the split second just before it became the epicentre of people with stupid hair. Our warehouse building was next to the most notorious hardcore gay club in town - The London Apprentice. Whilst we were living there it was closed and turned into proto-trendy club The 333. There was a guy there called Neil, who started off the free 'zine 'The Shoreditch Twat', from whence the popular derogatory term derives. He still writes for the Guardian about moustaches and the like.

for more info on hipsters, this article is a good place to start, (although you may want to ensure that you are not standing near any sharp implements):

Gaw said...

Sean: I'm surprised - I'd thought of you as something of a 'bear'.

Elb: I loved that site - it was new to me. Very funny.

Worm: Is that article for real? Surely it was a bit too angst-ridden to be taken seriously: 'end of Western civilisation', etc. Or was it ironical?

But putting the global-historical-civilisational issue to one side, I agree that youth culture isn't what it was: we've moved from a time when popular culture was in the ascendant to one where mass culture is. That's the reason I think pop music isn't as interesting nowadays. But keep it quiet: we don't want to set Brit off again.